Top o’ the mornin’ to ya laddies and happy almost St. Patty’s Day! Today is ‘Where Am I? Wednesday’ but sometimes we have to make a little exception, like when you’re out of coffee creamer and have to use Bailey’s. Pain in the ass, am I right? I wanted to fill this week (and next) with all the greens and rainbows and pots of gold but, brace yourself, I haven’t been to Ireland. How stupid is that? And I’m Irish, for the love of leprechauns!
So for this edition of WAIW I stuck with me clan. That’s Irish for – I crept onto my brother’s Facebook page and stole one (a few) of his pictures from his recent trip to the Emerald Isle. Just kidding, I totally texted him at 5:18 am to ask him first. I’m such a good big sister, only wanting things from him in the pre-dawn hours.
SO, where was my brother?
If you said “the Cliffs of Insanity,” YOU ARE CORRECT! If you said “He’s clearly on the hunt for horcruxes,” you are also correct! Great job my little Riverdancers.
It’s true, while in Ireland, my brother scaled the cliff face in an effort to rescue Buttercup, the kidnapped farm girl, then apparated to a freaky, possessed cave to help destroy the evil Lord Voldemort. In fact, here’s a picture of my brother standing outside the cave with some weird old man he’s friends with:
Y’all didn’t know my brother was such a badass, now did ya? OK fine, fine. None of that happened… that I know of. We really don’t talk all that much.
As far as I know, his photo is from the real-life Cliffs of Moher in County Clare, Ireland. Here’s another:
WHERE ARE THE CLIFFS OF MOHER?
The Cliffs of Moher are located along the Atlantic coast in the west of Ireland. Here’s a map:
Here’s another map in case you don’t know where Ireland is:
Now, if you don’t know where Europe is, that’s on you. Take a geography class or two. It couldn’t hurt…
WHAT ARE THEY?
The Cliffs of Moher are, drumroll please…. a set of cliffs! I like to keep it simple here at My Wanderlusty Life. They are Ireland’s most visited natural attraction and stretch for five miles and are 702 feet at their highest point. That’s the equivalent of 766 bagpipes stacked on top of each other. That’s 1404 pints of Guinness tall. Now we’re talking. Sláinte!
The tower in the first photo is the 19th century O’Brien’s Tower, a viewing tower and visitor’s center. Ireland’s most visited tourist attraction in general is the Guinness St. James’s Gate Brewery and Storehouse. Just another interesting Irish beer-related fact for your hump day.
The rocks that make up the cliffs, carved down by time, weather, and the Atlantic ocean, were formed over 300 million years ago. Dumbledore told me that. He was there.
The Mermaid of Moher // Once upon a time a man was fishing at the Cliffs (umm, how long was his pole for real?) when he saw a mermaid and started talking to her. The magic cloak she needed to return to sea (mermaids were way different back then) was on a rock nearby and the man decided to steal it in order to capture the mermaid (like a real creep). He took it home and hid it but she followed him and couldn’t find it. She agreed to marry and have children with him (???) but one day while he was out fishing she found her cloak and returned to the sea, abandoning her children, never to be seen again.
You didn’t know shit was about to get real up in here did you? This legend is AWFUL. Please don’t tell these stories to your daughters. Other Cliffs of Moher legends include: The Corpse-eating Eel, the Hag and Cu Chulainn, and a story about some horses that come out of a dark cave and, blinded by the sunlight, run and jump off the cliffs. Wow, fairy tales in Ireland are no joke.
WHO & WHEN
300 MILLION YEARS AGO // Geology happened.
1ST CENTURY BC // The first sign of man at the Cliffs of Moher. There was a fort at the site from then until the 19th century when it was demolished to build O’Brien’s Tower. What? Was there not enough open land to build another?
1835, SIR CORNELIUS O’BRIEN // A man ahead of his time, he foresaw the importance of tourism as a means of lifting the local population out of poverty. He built O’Brien’s Tower as a lookout and visitor center for the many visitors to the Cliffs at that time. Hero.
1987 // The Cliffs of Moher appear in the movie The Princess Bride.
2009 // The Cliffs of Moher appear in the movie Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
2010 // I finally catch up with the rest of humanity and see The Princess Bride for the first time.
2013 // The theme song to The Princess Bride is played at my Geek Chic wedding. We may be getting off track here…
Well, it’s time for Car Bombs and step dancing! Happy St. Patrick’s Day y’all!
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