You could argue that Orlando Bloom/a sense of humor/an accidental-on purpose 5 o’clock shadow/your husband vacuuming are the hottest things out there. But, to me, there’s nothing sexier than some really cheap airfare.
At least, that’s how it used to be. Now it’s mostly Chris Pratt + dinosaurs.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no stranger to compromise in the name of saving a buck. I’ve survived on peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and Hot Pockets alone in order to live in a sweet downtown loft apartment. I’ve used Kleenex on my butt and Charmin on my face.
I’ve basically duct-taped my way through life.
It’s this training that led me to believe round trip flights for less than $75 would be a walk in the park. Or in my case, a year without cable before Netflix. As it turns out, regarding my air travel experiences, I’m actually a first-class SNOB.
I can survive without beverage service. I can fit all my stuff into a carry on. Who really needs in-flight magazines anyway? (Just kidding! Please let me write for you!) But is it really too much to ask for clean floors? A tray table? Desk agents that don’t lie to me?? I get enough of that from the guys at Jiffy Lube who keep telling me I’m out of blinker fluid.
Traveling Spirit Airlines will challenge even the most tolerant of us and I advise you to really consider your options. That $25 flight looks about as tempting as Jared Leto with a tray full of Rice Krispy Treats but know that all magic comes with a price, deary.
Spirit–Less Money. More Go Questioning Your Life Choices.
What is Spirit Airlines?
Picture this: During your life of travel you’ve only stayed in 5-star hotels. There are people to carry your bags for you, a bowl of fruit in your suite, a phone next to the toilet. You watch HBO in the terrycloth robe from the closet and wash yourself with toiletries from brands you’ve actually heard of.
Then suddenly, perhaps after quitting your medical job to become a full-time blogger, you find yourself staying in a hostel for the first time. You sleep in a shack of bunkbeds with 15 strangers and one stray cat. Someone steals your duffel bag in the middle of the night to loot it for condoms but you quickly realize it’s you who’s totally f*cked.
It’s kinda like that.
Spirit Airlines is… a way to not feel guilty tagging along with your husband to Texas for his work thing. It’s a way to justify a trip to Disney World just a couple weeks after you’ve returned from Europe. It’s every man for himself actually.
Spirit Airlines is an American “budget airline.” If you’re not familiar with budget airlines, well then I hope that terrycloth gives you bum rash. I mean, good for you–you’ve probably never had to steal internet.
Budget airlines are the personification of the phrase “you get what you pay for.” The fares themselves are really cheap. Really, shockingly, enticingly cheap. However, all that fare gets you is a back-breaking seat in a steel tube. Thinking about bringing luggage? Of course you are–you’re not a robot. That’ll cost extra. Thirsty? Choking? Water will cost extra. Checking in at the airport? That’ll cost you too.
Before you know it, that cheap-ass ticket you bought now costs the same as any other flight only now you’re maxed-out on F bombs and stepping over pee stains in the carpet at the terminal gate while praying you don’t see anyone you know.
I can just hear you now–no big deal, huh? You don’t need all that extra stuff anyway? Exactly. Spirit Airlines hears you too and that’s why they’ve come up with more creative (i.e. bullshit) ways to make money off you. Especially if you’re a first-time flyer. Read on.
Also check out
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Spirit is not the only budget airline and most are much, much better. If you’re interested in flying for cheap, check out my post on tips for flying budget airlines. So much necessary information!
Booking your flight
There’s a classy way to be affordable and a trashy way. For instance, take a look at the marketing strategies for, let’s say, Allstate auto insurance. Or Corona. Even McCafés are pretty nice. On the other hand, Spirit Airlines is handing out 2-for-1 lap dances at the joint across the street from the airport next to the place that trades cash 4 gold.
On a similar note, there are businesses that can get away with trashy humor: any Seth McFarlane endeavor, Hardee’s, or that commercial for the new Schick Hydro Silk razor with those girls trimming their bushes by a pool, for example. However, there are some entities that I feel should maintain an air of professionalism no matter how cheap they are, like airlines.
Now, I have at least a rudimentary understanding of marketing so the fact that Spirit Airlines targets a certain market segment is not lost on me. But when it comes to something like air travel—that often cripples a large segment of the population with fear—a casual attitude is something nobody wants.
I bring this up because, if you can get through the website without changing your mind, you’ll probably be fine.
The Spirit Airlines aesthetic
For starters, Spirit Airlines’ whole deal looks like it’s targeted at school children. The cartoons, the fonts, the immature attempts at humor, the patronizing attitude towards their customers. That is, until you get to Spirit.com and have to slap yourself because there’s no way this is real life, right!?
I explained what a “bare fare” was earlier but I’m pretty sure you could’ve figured that out on your own (and without the logo of the guy with his hands over his crotch). But just in case, Spirit Airlines has come up with a “helpful” video quiz to make sure you understand.
Okay… this has to be a joke, right? “Show us your smarts we’ll show you our parts.” ??? Surely they’re not going to make that woman strip. My guess is they think distracting you with strippers will make it easier for them to screw you from behind. Take that as literally as you want just keep an eye on your wallet.
A blow-up doll? I am so embarrassed for them. And for myself for having flown this airline… twice. Is this an airline or an entrance exam to Trump University?
Not to mention, if we’re going to get technical here, this quiz is totally bogus. All of those things will cost extra on Spirit Airlines. The gallon of milk might fit the dimensions of a “small personal item” but don’t take my word for it.
Also, she won’t actually take anything off… will she?
This is not happening.
Oh shit–that happened.
This is the most unprofessional strip tease since that time I got a bee in my shirt. This is an airline–the people we trust with our lives and our luggage and our passport photos–not the afterparty of a Kid Rock show. You’d expect these kinds of marketing tactics from Carls Jr. or your local Hooters but not from the company flying you to your business meeting. By God, you lint-rolled for this!
I feel like even broke college kids heading to Vegas for the weekend (their core demographic, no?) would appreciate an airline that takes themselves seriously. Besides, aren’t they all feminists now anyway?
**In Spirit’s defense there are two other quizzes besides the one labeled “Babe.” One features a guy and the other a bear. So, an equal opportunity offender.
The issues I have with Spirit booking
Not an accurate representation of costs
That cheap fare you just booked is not an accurate representation of what the flight will actually cost you. As hard as you’ll try to fight it, there will be additional costs. Mostly in the baggage department. This paragraph could not describe online dating any more accurately even if I wanted it to.
Their $9 Fare Club is an outright lie
I still haven’t figured out where they got the name for it because it has nothing to do with $9 fares. I tweeted them asking why they named it so and have yet to receive a reply. I understand; it’s obvious they’re incredibly busy:
I became a member of the $9 Fare Club because, when booking a flight from Boston to Orlando, I could save $80 by signing up for a year membership (at $59.95). So yeah, I saved $20, just enough for one of those Schick hedge trimmers. I’ve since saved a few bucks here and there on baggage fees but a membership will not help you in the case of an overweight bag. (More on that to come.)
There are also no airfares anywhere near $9. At least not inside the cabin. Maybe in the wheel-well? But I hear the frigid breeze costs extra.
And just who would be okay with a $9 flight? Can they charge so little because they only put $9 worth of gas in the tank? My husband (and constant voice of reason) says that kind of stuff is regulated by the FAA but we’ve all been there–driving long after our gas light comes on, turning off the AC and the radio just in case; breaking up contractions to fulfill that mandatory 1,000 word count. I’m not convinced my $600 Dyson won’t crap out on me so I really don’t trust a flight that costs less than a 40-piece Chicken McNuggets.
What you actually end up spending will be a complete surprise
The airline’s à la carte pricing is about as consistent as a Ryan Lochte testimony. What you’ll pay for something when booking online vs what you’ll pay a day before your flight vs what you’ll pay at the airport vs what you’ll pay seconds before you board the plane are all different and unpredictable. What you’ll pay to fly here will be different than what you pay to fly there. Every size (and weight) of bags costs something different. But somewhere in there someone is getting robbed at gunpoint outside a Brazilian convenience store. Or was it a taxi?
You will get screwed on luggage
When dealing with a company keen on actively manipulating its customers, it’s virtually unavoidable. However, knowing they’re out to screw you from the start will help you prepare. Know the policies and pay close attention to what I’m about to tell you.
- Avoiding luggage fees on every other airline is simple since traveling with only a carry on is not that difficult. If you need to make it happen, you can. ⇠ A quote borrowed directly from my upcoming after-school special titled Cheap Ass: A Travel Blogger’s Story. However in this scenario, SPIRIT AIRLINES CHARGES FOR A CARRY ON… like a bitch. They actually charge more for a carry on than they do for a checked bag. Even Mork from Ork knows this is na-nutty as a fruitcake.
- AT THE AIRPORT, THAT CARRY ON WILL COST YOU $55. FIFTY-FIVE DOLLARS. Or in broke college student terms, 220 Chicken McNugggets. Now let’s say you go to the airport with your already-printed-out boarding pass and straight to the gate (because you reasonably assumed a carry on was free). That carry on now costs you $100 to bring on the plane. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS. That is literally more than the entire cost of my RT flight and like one third of a biology textbook.
- THE ONLY FREE ITEM YOU CAN BRING IS A SMALL PERSONAL ITEM. I know women whose purses don’t even fit this category. Shit, I have friends whose bras wouldn’t even qualify. So unless you’re willing to wear everything you plan to bring on the flight (not a bad idea actually), you’re going to pay for luggage no matter what.
- THE WEIGHT LIMIT FOR A CHECKED BAG IS 40 LBS. NOWHERE during the booking process was I alerted to this change in protocol. Everyone who travels knows the baggage limit is ALWAYS 50 lbs. It’s common knowledge like cinnamon buns are delicious or Mrs. Doubtfire is the best movie ever. I assume Spirit Airlines also knows this and made their limit 40 lbs just for shits and giggles… and profits.
My husband and I shared one checked bag to save money on our trip to Dallas–a bag that ended up being 43 lbs. Unaware of the unique-to-Spirit weight limit and without a carry on to shove our heavier things into, we had no other option than to pay the $30 overweight bag fee. The scene that followed was not unlike one from CSI: Miami.
My husband: There’s nothing we can do. We have to pay the ransom.
Me: We will not negotiate with terrorists! If you pay the ransom they will have no reason to keep our luggage alive!
My husband: Why didn’t I fight? Why didn’t I run?
Me: These are professional criminals. It’s what they do. Horatio is on his way to the scene as we speak.
My husband, to the agent: Thirty dollars. It’s all there. Count it if you want.
Me, to no one in particular: So they brought the war to us. [puts on sunglasses] Now we… are gonna take it to them… in the form of a retaliatory blog post.
[End Scene]
- THEIR SCALES ARE RIGGED. I know what you’re thinking… “typical woman” right? Well, no! I take full responsibility for the number of Oreos I eat. But sometimes you’re just screwed no matter how much you do everything right.
At home, our suitcase weighed 36 lbs. At the airport we weighed our bag at the desk next to Spirit. Then we weighed it on another one. Then another. We literally weighed our bag on four different scales that all said 36 pounds. See, Lochte? This is what consistency is.
During check-in the Spirit agent weighed our bag… 43 lbs. HOW. IN. THE. HELL.
Me: “We JUST weighed our bag on the three scales next to you and they all said 36.”
Maleficent: “Well, those aren’t our scales so I don’t know.”
Me, to no one in particular: “Children, what have we learned today? Let’s all say it together: That when you try to comply with a company that has 2,237 customer service complaints, chances are you’re going to get screwed in ways you never learned about on Loveline.”
(I think it goes without saying–I would be just the worst school teacher.)
- Sometimes they have scales in the airport terminal to weigh your bags before getting in line. The point of this is lost on me (as is the plot of The Walking Dead) because by then it’ll be too late to do anything about it. But still, there they are. Oh, but they won’t work.
Checking in for your flight
The boarding pass
The thing about Spirit Airlines is that they WANT you to be less environmentally-friendly so they can charge you for it. Their idea of ‘going green’ has more to do with dollar signs bulging out of their eyeballs all Scrooge McDuck-like.
Twenty-four hours before your flight you’re encouraged to check-in online and print your boarding passes from home or they’ll charge you $10 to do so at the airport. Personally, I don’t have a printer; it’s the one thing I didn’t steal when I quit my job. So… I saved our boarding passes on my phone THE WAY WE DO NOW. It’s 2016. Other than wiping your ass or lining your gerbil cage there aren’t too many instances where we need paper.
So of course, trailblazers that they are, Spirit Airlines tells me (at the airport) that they only accept paper copies and that it’s a $10 charge (each) to print my boarding passes for me. I’m sorry, but isn’t printing a boarding pass a fundamental airline requirement? Like metal detection? Waiting until you’ve fallen asleep to come by with the beverage cart? Trying to be funny at some point but failing miserably?
OF COURSE they don’t accept digital boarding passes–where’s the cents in that?
Ever the investigative journalist, I asked the TSA agent at security if the machine she was using to scan my paper boarding pass was able to scan digital boarding passes as well. Her response: “Yes it does. [pause… pause… pause…] Oh, but we can’t do it for Spirit boarding passes.”
“Verrry interesting,” I think as I stroke my beard. So you’re telling me… the necessary equipment is already there? And it’s already able to perform the functions that you just aren’t allowing it to? And is this because you stand to profit from not using it? My dear Watson, I think we’re on to something!
And what exactly is that $10 charge for anyway? The paper? The ink? The 5:00 flight to Philly?
As you can see, the $10 boarding pass is little more than a palm-sized piece of receipt paper. I get more paper and ink when I buy a bag of Skittles at CVS. Plus I get Skittles.
Spirit Airlines does provide kiosks at the airport for you to print your own boarding pass. It is my belief that this is a free service but their website says they charge $2 for each boarding pass you print from the kiosk. Their website also says “big butts” so do with that what you will.
Oh, and did I mention those kiosks you’re supposed to use are up at the counter, between the pissed off mother of four and the couple trying to repack their entire suitcase?
And that they won’t check you in until you print your boarding pass? So they skip to the next person while you’re still at the counter printing your boarding pass? And the other people are trying to check in but you’re in their way at the kiosk? And then when it’s your turn, you’re the bitch who cuts the line because technically you were there first?
IT’S PRETTY TERRIBLE.
Security
I’ve been on… oh, a million flights? I know the drill. I could be the drill sergeant. I had to look up how to spell ‘sergeant’ but that’s another point entirely.
Remove your shoes, soldier!
Take out those liquids, you maggot!
Place everything in the bins, private! I want those pockets so empty I can hear my farts echo ten times over!
Now push it all through the machine like you’re making goddamn Play-Doh spaghetti!
So you can imagine my surprise when an agent cut in front of me just as my belongings scooted their way into the x-ray machine, took all my stuff out of the bins, then laid it all over the belt. Me: “Huh?” Her: “We don’t have very many bins…” Me: “Unlike your mother…” ⇠ Sorry, still in character.
That dumbass logic is the kind of crap that would have her scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush until her fingers and knees bled. Ya know, if I were her drill sergeant. Damned missed callings.
Clearly Spirit Airlines also skimped in the plastic bin department. I didn’t even know Plastic Bins Я Us offered a 10-piece package. Not to mention, my stuff was already in the bin… going through the machine. She backed up the security line to pop in and undo my handy work. The x-ray machine isn’t a black hole; you’d have your bins back in 15 seconds or less, lady. And if I’m not to use the bins for my shoes/liquids/etc., then what are you saving them for? Is that an extra cost I wasn’t aware of?
What to expect at the gate
I pray for the sake of future travelers that the Spirit Airlines gate at Boston’s Logan airport is a temporary one soon to be demolished… or the set of a new airport-centric candid camera show, Junk’d.
I was dumbstruck by how disgusting this gate was. I’ve seen NYC subway tracks with less garbage. I’ve seen train cars with less graffiti. I’ve seen toddlers’ diapers with fewer mysterious stains. I overheard the girl next to me ask her mom, “Are we in a Greyhound bus station?”
There was trash all over the floor. There was half-eaten food strewn across the few available seats. The gate itself was scarcely bigger than an Ikea show-bedroom. There was a full-grown Doberman in the corner.
At the gate you’ll see that your fellow flyers are split into two groups, three if you count the canines.
GROUP 1: The target market. They’re drunk. They’re wearing Ninja Turtle pajama pants. They’re heading to Florida for… wait for it… a Kid Rock show. They’re listening to dubstep ON SPEAKER. They spill their Jack and Cokes on you and say things like, “Aww yeah–she got bars!” ⇠ I have no idea what this means. Does that mean I’m old or just college educated?
GROUP 2: Those that, just like you, instantly regret their air travel choices. You hear them say things like, “Jenna loves Spirit Airlines; she always flies with them. [Looks around] I don’t know what she’s thinking though…”
I eavesdrop A LOT and heard five similar conversations plus the freshest beats out of this year’s Electric Daisy Carnival but like, muffled and treble-y. It’s always nice to know there might be a bigger issue than just you being a stuck-up bitch. Unce unce unce unce. ⇠ I Googled “how do you spell a techno beat” and that’s the result. They can’t all be winners, you guys.
During your Spirit Airlines flight
Finally! You made it through baggage drop. You survived the idiocy of checking in. You’re only slightly covered in something sticky from the waiting area. You made it past the gate agent who, upon being bum-rushed by travelers trying to board, said, “Fuck it!” and just let the whole mob by without checking any of the boarding passes. Four thousand words later and you’re boarding the plane!
…a Spirit Airlines plane that brags about being part of the “youngest fleet in America.” I don’t know about you, but riding on a brand new airplane is not my dream. I want that sum’bitch to have some hours under her belt. Is it just me? Because they really brag about this. Something else I don’t want in an airline, besides side-boob: inexperience.
Are they really trying to convince us that adding more seats to a plane is a good thing? More kettle corn, more baby pandas, more male flight attendants with French accents? Yes. More seats? No. And calling it “cozy” doesn’t piss us off any less.
Stop trying to manipulate us with your friendly words!
And as you can see from that screenshot, the seats don’t recline. (I had no idea all these years that reclining a seat was so expensive! What privileged little lives we have led!) Oh, and that’s the only place you’ll see that tidbit of information. I didn’t figure this out on my own until I’d tried reclining my seat for about ten minutes. An idea made even more confusing by the fact that the flight attendants still begin and end every flight with, “Make sure your seat backs are in the upright and locked position.”
This is literally the only way they can be! Why must you taunt me!
You don’t need to recline your seat anyway; it’s not that long of a flight. You can just watch a movie on your laptop or lay your head down on the–oh, no. Nope, you can’t do that. You would need a tray table and it looks like Spirit only sprang for the sample size. It was serendipitous then that I brought a book that was actually bigger than this “table.” On which I did a crossword puzzle.
What is… 8 letters, “manure of an adult male cow,” starts with B, ends with T?
And you thought you were gonna make it through this flight without having to look at tacky display ads the whole time, didn’t you? What do you think this is, HBO? ‘Cause if it is Imma need y’all to stop making Sex and the City movies, ‘k?
In all seriousness, is this a Greyhound bus? I’d also like to point out that this ad for a Las Vegas casino was on my flight from Dallas to Boston. And while we’re at it, if they’re accepting ad money, why the hell am I paying for a carry on?
Tips for flying Spirit Airlines… if you must
Personally, my plan is to avoid Spirit Airlines at all costs. (LOL, “at all costs.” I crack myself up.) There is only one reason we as travelers accept these crappy experiences. There’s only one reason we would ever agree to sleep in a room with horny strangers who might rob you, why we duct tape our hubcaps, why we hoard fast food condiments… and that is to save money.
And that should be your ONLY reason to fly Spirit Airlines. However, they don’t exist to save you money. They exist to make money. Remember that and prepare accordingly.
✈ Know Spirit Airlines’ policies backwards and forwards before preparing for your flight.
- Consult this page for a thorough listing of all the additional ways they can charge you and read EVERY LINE of every section. I’m not even joking.
- Traveling Spirit Airlines is every man for himself. They are not out to assist you in flying for cheap. It’s up to you and you alone to know all the different ways you can get screwed on your flight that aren’t the mile-high club.
✈ Keep your checked bags UNDER 40 LBS. Not the usual 50. I can’t speak for what their scales will do on the day you fly so… I guess just the lighter the better.
✈ Print your boarding pass at home. Or at work. Or at your neighbor’s house. Or at FedExOffice. Or sneak into your old employer’s office with the key card you took when you left for such emergencies, I don’t care. But they WILL charge you $10 (each) to print your boarding pass for you or charge you $2 (each) to use the airport kiosk to print.
✈ Keep in mind that the $9 Fare Club is self-renewing. If you purchase a membership to save money on a single flight like I did, make a note of the renew date a year from then and be sure to cancel it ahead of time. I’ve read a lot of reports saying they don’t alert you to your renew date and will continue to charge your credit card $59.95 each year.
✈ If you use a free Free Spirit membership to collect air points through them, they will charge you up to $100 to redeem your points. Free Spirit–an absolutely worthless promotion yet significantly profitable way to steal from you.
✈ You don’t need to pay to choose your seats. You and your husband/wife/children will all get seats together. Don’t let them scare you into paying extra to pick adjoining seats.
✈ Bring an empty water bottle through security to fill up on the other side. That complimentary water they aren’t giving you could cost almost $4 at the airport. Not that you’ll have anywhere to keep it during your flight…
✈ Keep your expectations extremely low. If getting from point A to point B with no consideration of ethics or human decency is your only concern, Spirit Airlines may be just what you need. Well, that and a good slap to the face from yo’ momma!
If this is indeed your game plan, I encourage you to Google “Spirit Airlines review” and read anything that pops up. Just anything. Go ahead, pick one. Especially this article (and then this followup) that explains Spirit’s unethical operating practices in a way I don’t have the patience to.
Spirit Airlines–Less Money. More Go Shenanigans.
What is your favorite budget airline?
Let me know below!
But first, Pin this ⇣⇣⇣
24 Hours in Oslo, Norway // Valhalla I am coming!
Since your blogs are usually a riot and this was about Spirit, I had doubly had to read it…after I moved my glass of water away from the keyboard! lol
Wow, I had heard of some of this stuff through friends/co-workers but not all of it! I had a co-worker tell me that Spirit would routinely stop for fuel in Atlantic city, on “direct” flights from Florida to Laguardia…probably because gas is cheaper in New Jersey. Then there’s my friend who lives in Myrtle Beach…he buys tickets at the airport, at the airport!!!, for himself or for his family when they visit because the tickets are cheaper there than online.
Definitely 1 airline I will not fly. Thanks for the read and the laugh.
OOOMMMGGG that thing about stopping for gas in NJ is killing me! And that sounds about exactly right too. So much of what they do is shitty, unethical, and WHY DO PEOPLE FLY THEM STILL?
Thanks for this. I wished I’d read it before I attempted to fly on Spirit Airlines.
Haha, you’re welcome Rod. Sometimes the best lessons are learned the hard way I guess! I’m right there with you.
I enjoyed your blog! I have a story to share… I flew Spirit once, as Amanda said, as long as you read all the fine prints and pack accordingly, no nasty surprises. Pillows are free so I took out the stuffing in my neck pillow and stuffed it was soft clothing. I jammed by backpack of a personal item, I’m sure it bulged out more than 8″ width at the front packet, but no one even bothered to look. In fact, I feel Spirit was more lieninent than my recent experience at the Honolulu airport of all places. I was cheap and booked basic economy fare with United. Their bag height max as only 17″. So the same wheelies my daughter and I rolled on a Spirits plane (and recently on a Sun Country airline), United insisted on charging 30 each! I knew mine was about 19-20″ tall including wheels and handle, it was an old bag so I was prepared to ditch it by containing my things inside a soft bag “lining” (it will cost $30 or less to buy a new one when I get home, yay I get to shop for a new bag!). So sure enough, the agent insisted I pay or she won’t check us in. Her face turned so red when I pulled out my soft bag and it stuffed nicely into their metal bag template thing, with some room to spare. So now she is eyeing my daughter’s little wheelie, insisting I must check it in now to avoid paying double at the gate. I said I will take my chances. But she still refused to give me our boarding passes, because with handles and wheels, her bag was sticking out by a mere 1/2″, literally! I’m not kidding! But she is determined to make at least $30 out of me. But I was determined not to pay $30 for a bag that she dragged around school all years, already has tears and holes all over, that would go right in the trash after the trip. Since we were there way early and got time to kill, I moved aside and was able to stuff her things into one of those 99cent reusable grocery bags (also good to have on hand), and a few things into a pillow case (yep always have one handy when flying on a budget fare), she now have to carry her stuffed rooster souvenir, and a bag of food. So back to the counter to check-in (BTW we were not allowed to check-in online since selected “no checked or carryon bags”). Now she is eyeing my pillow, the stuffed animal, jackets we tied at our waist, and the small bag of food. She said: you have too many personal items, food is only for consumption on the plane. So I showed her our two sandwiches, a bag of chip, a bag of gummy bears. I told her pillows don’t count against our quota, we are wearing our jackets. And she couldn’t possibly pick on my daughter’s one toy she is hugging in her arms. Oh I can see smoke coming out of her head when she grudgedly handed me our boarding passes! Victory, I won Round 1 of this budget war with airlines! In my experience, United is now the champion of the WORST bare fare budget airline.
Hi Snow – your story is so hilarious! Good for you for winning the match LOL!! I understand *most* airline rules but some are just ludicrous. I’ve definitely worn my fair share of layers to avoid ridiculous fees, haha. You sound like a pure professional at this! Happy traveling!
I just booked my first trip on Spirit, and this article is making me think “OMG what did I do”, then “I survived 50 hours on Greyhound twice, this is only 3 hours” and “I love my friend which is why I’m flying Spirit to her wedding.” Thanks for all the heads up!
Quick question though (likely a dumb one). I prepurchased a carry on bag so I wouldn’t have to spend time at LAX or DFW waiting for baggage. If I print my boarding pass at home, can I skip the horrendous lines and go right to security, or does Spirit require you to actually go to the counter any way?
Sorry to scare you Amy! lol Most of the frustration is not knowing what you’re getting into – and if you know about the baggage and other surprise fees, you’re already winning the battle!
And I don’t think Spirit necessarily requires that. As long as your carry-on is under the required measurements and weight, you should just be able to walk into the airport and straight to security, provided you have your printed boarding pass with you. If I remember correctly, I *think* it says on your boarding pass that you’ve purchased a carry-on bag which the attendants at the gate will check, and possibly put a tag on your bag to let others know it has been paid for. Again, I *think* I remember that happening. Their policies may have changed though so when you get to the airport, go ahead and ask a Spirit employee if you need to confirm your carry-on purchase before you get to the gate. (At the very least, print out the receipt for your carry-on purchase and keep it with you.)
Have a great trip!
Ashley, I had fun reading your blog about spirit. SOO true. I had a nightmare myself with “ridiculous”, checked bags fees on my trip to the Dominican Republic from Phoenix. Flew them once and never again.
Izzy
Thank you Izzy!
And ugh, I’m all too familiar. The good thing is that there are plenty more airlines out there for us to use!
Good luck on your future travels!
I throuroughly enjoyed this blog post. Cracked up and agreed with everything you said. BUT with that being said I have flown spirit so many times I can’t count. Simply for the fact that it is cheap. I live close to Atlantic City NJ, and it’s convienant. (Spirit has a regional airport in AC)
My husband and I do not ever pay for baggage. Their personal item is actually bigger then most people expect. My husband takes a bookbag and I take a smaller duffel bag… and no one ever stops us… and we never pay. Now granted- we pack very light and we only go places for 4-5 days max. Like right now we are in Tampa Florida visiting friends of ours and we are just here for a long weekend (Thursday to Monday) the flights were only $23 each way… and that is what we paid in full.
I’ve also used them to fly to Chicago, Boston, Miami, myrtle beach, Atlanta, and Orlando for $23 each way for AC. I also found a $23 from Baltimore (drove there) to Las Vegas. It’s super uncomfortable… especially the long flight to Vegas!! But we literally got there for $46 round trip…..
Soooo again, everything you said was and will probably always be true of spirit. But if you know what you are getting into… you can suck it up and deal with it for the cheap price. It took a few times of getting screwed… but I think I finally mastered the system.
Hi Amanda! Thank you for the first intelligent comment on this blog post LOL
I totally understand where you’re coming from. I’m happy to hear that you’ve mastered it! Flying to warmer destinations definitely helps when you’re trying to pack lightly. Have fun in Tampa!
I’ll be honest – while I agree with your overall assessment, for SOME of us, Spirit is the only sensible choice. (Especially those of us living next to very small regional airports, rather than mid-size or hubs.)
Spirit average price: 2 tickets, baggage, gas (90 minute drive), and parking = $370.
Our city’s airport average price (via American): parking + 2 tickets = $850
Given that we fly this route somewhere in the range of 4 times per year, this equates to almost $2k in savings – this year that money is partially funding our trip to Thailand (thankfully NO Spirit flights on any leg of that).
So while I agree with the idea that Spirit SUCKS, and I hate flying them, there’s a case to be had for the savings provided you know what you’re getting yourself into.
It must be awesome to live in an area where the cost differential between airlines isn’t quite so vast. Super jealous of that.
Ugh, I feel for you! All good points though. Trust me, I absolutely understand how lucky I am to live near such a large and accessible airport. As long as you know what you’re getting into with Spirit, just keep your chin up and stay vigilant! Good luck with all your flights and have fun in Thailand. 🙂
This entire article is poorly written and whiney. You know what you are getting in to when you fly on spirit. It’s the Ryanair of North America.
And yet, you still decided to read it through, hmmm.
And, believe it or not, not EVERYONE knows what they’re getting into when they fly Spirit Airlines–that’s why they need to read reviews. Why YOU read this is beyond me.
Lauren.. you are a true dumb ass. your mind is poorly wired and you lack the fundamental understanding on why this article was written. I hope the universe cleanses itself of dumb people like you.
So many people miss the point of this article.
You are the PERFECT Spirit customer and one of the many reasons I avoid Spirit at ALL costs!!!!!
I had a really horrible experience with Spirit Airline. This is how everything happened. My wife, my sister and I were happy to go on vacation from 06/19/18 to 6/25/18 to the Dominican Republic with spirit airlines.
When we were checking in our bags nobody helped us until over 15 minutes that a young lady that work there came to help us without success and then she told us to go at the counter so that the person there can assist us checking our bags in but something was happening in her system that they made us miss the flight.
After making us wait over 1 hour they told us that they have to rebook the flight for the next day at the same time. That pissed me off because it was their fault. We had to stay in a motel 6 in Philadelphia and pay the night with my own money.
The next day we woke up and got there early again. They made us pay almost 300 dollars for our 4 luggages and a piano as a luggage because appereantly they said that our flight to Dominican Republic was a connecting flight from phili to Atlanta and from Atlanta to Florida and from Florida to Dominican Republic and I said ok, although that was a lot of money but the horrible thing happened when we were about to take our next flight from Florida to the Dominican Republic. When we were about to board the plane one of their staff a young lady told us that she can not let us board the plane because our luggages were not in the plane and we asked why but she left us and another young lady made a call and after she called someone she told us that our luggages were not in the plane and that she will have to rebook another flight to our destination. Me and my wife were really mad but this nightmare doesn’t end here.
The young lady came out saying that the next flight with spirit airline was the next day at the same time but we told her that we can not miss a second day because of their fault and that there was no reason of problems with my luggages because they made me pay a lot of money and that we cannot m
iss a second day again because of them. So then she said that the next flight was with Jetblue with a stop in San Juan Puerto Rico and arriving in the Dominican Republic the next day at 7am and because we didn’t have any choice we had to take that flight but the most thing that pissed me off was that when I when to get my luggages we only found 4 and the piano was missing then we asked for the piano and their staffs told us that the piano was in the plane with destination to the Dominican Republic and that made me feel really mad. That caused a lot of stress to all three of us and on top of that I had to pay again at the Jetblue counter for our 4 luggages. I wish I find my piano in the Dominican Republic at least. And I wish they refund all of my money because this situation need to be taken to legals procedures. I am currently going to Puerto Rico by the time I’m writing this review today 6/20/2018.
PLEASE DO NOT BUY TICKETS FROM SPIRIT AIRLINES I HAVE BEEN IN OTHER FLIGHTS BUT SPIRIT AIRLINES IS HORRIBLE, THEIR CUSTOMER SERVICE IS UNHUMAN AND TO ANY INVESTOR PLEASE DO NOT INVEST YOUR MONEY IN THE STOCK MARKET WITH SPIRIT AIRLINES THEY ARE THE WORST. THEY ARE HORRIBLE WITH A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN THEIR SYSTEMS. I FEEL REALLY DOWN AS I’M WRITING THIS REVIEW. I AM WARNING YOU. DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THIS COMPANY IF YOU DO YOU WILL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
Oh man, what a nightmare! That’s horrible. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this when you should be having fun on your trip. Try to hang in there and you’re right – never fly with them again!
You’ve got an intriguing look at this topic… See you on the road.
🙂
LOL Thank you… I think? 🙂
The web site makes it perfectly clear what the charges are. Don’t blame them for you being lazy and not reading. I flew to Vegas from Seattle for under a hundred bucks round trip for a 72-hour quick fix. It’s not first class. It’s cheap. You are a disgrace to real tightwads.
If you’re so satisfied with Spirit Airlines, then why are you reading reviews of them? (That’s rhetorical, no need to respond.) Thanks for stopping by though!
You follow the rules don’t need 5million clothes to wear you fly Spirit. Your a whinner and want Cadillac service fly the majors.We never had a problem and we have flown all over this country .You pay for what you want .
This comment is ridiculous and pointless but I’m leaving it here because you’ve proven my point so eloquently.
Cant handle the truth your a moron
*you’re
Bhaaaahahaha. Thank you for this article. I was researching for a flight which will be the first for my 3 and 4 year olds. I definitely don’t need this additional stress, nor do I want my kids flying with the “your a moron” degenerates.
Haha, I feel ya there!
Anyone else have the weight scale discrepancy happen to them?
I’d like to know this as well. I’ll do some research and let you know if I find anything!
OMG this was hilarious – we have had the very same experiences with airlines here in Europe which is the land of the cheap and sketchy. So we have flown many of them similar but nothing quite as bad as Spirit Air. I have heard some of these stories before but just didn’t believe them and it is truly apalling that they can get away with this stuff, but I guess the demand outweighs the horror.
Thank you Faith!! And you’re so right. Just as Spirit Airlines is consistently voted “the worst airline in America” it’s also the most profitable. No wonder there though as they practically steal from their customers. Sooner or later everyone will have figured it out. Such a shame!
Ok so without sounding like an awful person, this blog cracked me up!! You’re a funny writer 🙂 But I agree, I am a flight (and hostel!) SNOB! We flew with Air Asia on our last trip and my partner literally had nowhere to put his legs!!! I have a new rule – budget airline flights for flights shorter than 2 hours!
Haha, thanks Katie! Luckily I’m short and small so I’ve never had an issue with legroom–but that tray table? So dumb. I NEED a tray table!! And I think 2 hours and under is a great plan for such airlines.
Oh wow this is crazy! I’ve heard of hidden fees but Spirit takes it to a whole new level. I once got screwed with Spring Airlines because I didn’t realize your carry on bag weight was included with your checked bag weight. Seriously?! But what shocks me the most is the fact that they think it’s appropriate to make all of those sex jokes on an airline… I’m pretty young and even I think it’s super inapropriate.
Your carry on weight was included in the total? That’s insane–I’ve never heard of that. If they just made their policies clear and obvious it wouldn’t be such a nightmare! And yeah, the inappropriateness of that airline is absurd.
Wow…I just can’t even…
Haha–my thoughts exactly.
Oh my goodness I laughed and cried at the same time reading this – reminds me of that clip by Fascinating Aida called “Cheap Flights” – if you haven’t seen it on youtube yet you’ll have to search it because you will definitely laugh! Wow. I think I can say quite firmly that I will never choose Spirit Airlines. As for the advertising and marketing methods – oh dear me. I have no words. Tacky doesn’t even begin to describe it! Great post though!
Haha, thanks Juliette! I’m gonna check that video out. And yes–tacky is one of the words I have for their marketing department…
I thought I was missing out but Spirit doesn’t service Canada. I can’t believe how tacky their marketing strategy is and that they charge up to $100 to redeem your Free Spirit points?!?
Yeah–they have so many bogus fees I just can’t understand. They hook you with the free membership to collect travel points and then… what? Charge you $100 to redeem your points for a free $25 flight? SUCH A SCAM. Also, they do fly in and out of Montreal and Toronto so spread the word to all your Canadian traveler friends if they ever consider Spirit LOL.
This. is. hilarious.
What an outrageous experience! I had a terrible time with Philippine Airlines once, but this might just be worse!
Thank you! And yes, I hope I never have to deal with them again. Or that anyone does!
I also love cheap airfares. But I hate it when airlines try to sneak in hidden costs. I’ve never heard of Spirit Airlines before but now I’ll know not to book with them – thanks!
Exactly–if they wouldn’t be so sketchy about it and be completely honest, open, and up-front they wouldn’t have near the number of problems and irritated customers that they do. Manipulating people is not the way to do business!
Holy hell, that sounds awful! I have flown some crappy, small airlines in my broke, college days – but never, ever anything that bad. You just made the case for road trips and camping as a glamorous and luxurious getaway option. Spirit Airlines – skip it! Stay in school, get that education, and never look back!
Haha, right!?? I’ve flown all kinds of airlines and taken all kinds of trains/busses and nothing sucks as much as Spirit. Paying more for airfare has never been so justified!
Boy, and I was upset because Air Transat didn’t have any screen during my transatlantic flight from Québec to Brussels… They expected us to download our own stuff before boarding. What?On a 7-hour flight, that’s a big no no! It’s a good thing I’d packed a Gravol!
How can an airline get away with this? The stripping girl alone is ground for suing them, right?
We do have cheap airlines in Europe, like Ryanair, but you actually get a good value out of it. I don’t mind packing my own lunch and traveling with only a carry-on. They’ve actually never checked ours and we get away with so much stuff! haha
Luckily, I’ll probably never have to fly with an American airline, but I’ll pin your post, but just in case.
p.s. my husband asked me several times why I was laughing so hard throughout the article! :p
It’s funny the stuff you don’t realize you’re hooked on… like the screen! I haven’t been on an international flight that DIDN’T have a screen. And I had to look up what Gravol is, we don’t have that here–so funny. And yeah, that girl that strips is ridiculous, I’m so embarrassed for everyone that works there. I’ve flown Ryanair before and didn’t have any problems with them at all. Take note, America!
And thanks for pinning! Not all American airlines are like this one–most of them are just fine and some of them, like JetBlue, are phenomenal.
(That part about your husband is hilarious–so glad you enjoyed it!)
Delta here I come!
JetBlue for me, thank you very much!