Czeching Out the Best of Prague in 3 Days

Every good thing you’ve heard about Prague is true. Any bad thing you’ve heard was probably spoken by someone who drinks too much that you shouldn’t associate with anyway. Prague is an enchanting fairy tale village where beer is cheaper than water and every street is postcard-worthy; but you already knew that because you’ve been hardcore pinning that shizz since Pinterest came out and gave you a reason to go into work every day.

The problem is, Prague’s amazing-ness can be overwhelming if you don’t know where to begin. For instance: want to see a great view of Prague from a tower in the sky? Well, Prague is known as “The City of 100 Spires” soo… which will you choose? I can only liken the choices you’ll have to make in Prague to something like, “Here’s 150 puppies; which one should you take home? You have 30 seconds to decide.” Without some kind of guide on where to start (the one with the shortest legs, obviously), the decisions may never come and YOU JUST MISSED OUT ON A FREE PUPPY and that’s just tragic.

I made a lot of choices while exploring Prague in 3 days and they were all fantastic; but who knows, I probably missed out on a couple free puppies as well. To get you started, here’s my guide to what I found to be the best of Prague in 3 days.

⇣⇣⇣ Click on this little square thing to see the key and layers.

Prague in 3 days: Best bird’s eye view

Well, let’s start with that fabulous view, shall we? I climbed to the top of… I believe it was four buildings/towers during my 3 days in Prague and my favorite view was from the Petrin Tower. While the views in the city center are great (the sexy medieval-ness of it all), I wanted a view of the whole damn thing.

The viewing platform of the Petrin Tower is 299 steps up the 200-foot tall tower on top of the 1,043-foot Petrin Hill. When was the last time you got that high? (Don’t answer that.) This mini version of the Eiffel Tower was built in 1891 just outside the city across the Vltava River and from it you can see the whole city of Prague and a bunch more of the Czech Republic I know nothing about. You can see Prague Castle, the Charles Bridge, Old Town, New Town, Funky town, and, on a clear day, an elderly woman behind the counter in a small town.

There are a handful of ways to get there but since we all know I’ve got a screw loose, I walked. I walked to Petrin Hill from the monastery where I had beers and lunch… after walking there from Prague Castle… after walking there from the city center first thing in the morning. Then I walked 299 steps up to the top of the tower. Back down, then back up because I forgot I wanted to switch camera lenses. #bloglife

ESSENTIAL INFO
Website: prague.eu
Admission: 150 CZK ($7 USD)
Need to know: There’s a gelato shop at the base as a sweet reward for your footwork.

Prague in 3 days: Best meal

Choosing the best meal I had in Prague was really tough—not because there are so many contenders, but because Czech food leaves more to be desired than a teetotaller’s tailgate party. I get the same question all the time: “Prague is awesome, right? But what did you think about the food?” I wanna say “terrible” but I also don’t want to pass judgement—after all, I didn’t eat everything while I was there. The “bull testicles with sage” will have to wait until next time I guess.

That being said, Czech food is not my favorite. (Cheese should never, ever be clear.) And don’t be fooled—what looks, smells, and sounds like German food is not always German food. The only thing remotely “German” at your meal will be the guilt of not drinking your beer fast enough weighing you down like a wet blanket. So, in a twist you probably saw coming, my tie for favorite meals while eating Prague in 3 days are, in fact, of heavier German influence than a luxury car show.

My favorite meal: the roast chicken & dumplings from Restaurace Amos
My husband’s favorite meal: to the surprise of absolutely no one on planet Earth, the pork knuckle at the Strahov Monastery. (Say what you want about silence and celibacy—monks always make the best sh*t.)

ESSENTIAL INFO
Website: amosrestaurant.cz
Adress: Masná 17, Praha 1
Need to know: Don’t trip on the step entering the place.

Essential info on Strahov Monastery ⇣⇣⇣

Prague in 3 days: Best hidden gem

While attempting to walk from the Prague Castle to the Petrin Tower we got incredibly lost. Hey, sh*t happens when you’re in a foreign country, don’t use maps, and every ancient narrow-ass street looks like every other ancient narrow-ass street. And this is how we found the Strahov Monastery, my pick for best hidden gem in Prague.

Somewhere within the monastery complex is Velká Klášterní Restaurace, otherwise known as the Great Monastery Restaurant. They serve beers made from the Matuška Brewery and is the largest non-smoking restaurant in Prague with a capacity for 500 wicked lost souls. Here we had (beers and) a fabulous lunch out on their patio while trying to figure out where the hell we were.

After lunch we ventured into the Strahov Library, said to be one of the most beautiful in the country. Inside there is:

• The Theological Hall | The Italian-looking one; built between 1671-1679; contains 18,000 works—one entire wall of which is just different editions of the Bible
• The Philosophical Hall | Built between 1794-1797; contains more than 42,000 works dedicated to philosophy and other sciences; also features secret spiral staircases hidden behind fake books—the dream!
• The Cabinet of Curiosities | A room dedicated to the curiosity cabinets of yore which are seen as the predecessors of modern museums; contains artifacts from as early as 860 AD; there’s a dodo bird skeleton!!!!!!!!

In addition to the libraries and restaurants, there are countless other sites to visit at the Strahov Monastery: viewing terraces, more museums, a church I couldn’t take pictures in, shops, a garden, an art gallery, and more. If any of that stuff is on your Prague to-do list, the Strahov Monastery is a good, on purpose, one-stop shop.

ESSENTIAL INFO
Website: strahovskyklaster.cz
Library admission: 120 CZK ($5 USD)
Need to know: Photography isn’t allowed inside the library unless you purchase a photo pass. I think it was something like the equivalent of $0.50.

Prague in 3 days: Best once-in-a-lifetime experience 

Just kidding–I would totally do this again.

When I was first searching for things to do in Prague in 3 days I came across the Prague beer spa. Is that what I think it is? It couldn’t be. Could it? IT WAS. The chance to soak in a hot beer bath while drinking beer straight from the faucet (fine, call it a “tap” if you want). I wrote an entire post on my Prague beer spa experience – so I’ll just borrow my explanation from that.

A Prague beer spa is kind of like a regular spa, but like, if Frank the Tank ran the joint. With cold beers instead of hot stones and the blatant encouragement to drink as much as you can in one hour. It’s simultaneously exactly what it sounds like and nothing you’d expect in your wildest dreams. It’s a hot tub time machine… that you used to travel back to that time you pledged a fraternity with your boy Blue.

In real life, it’s a private room-cave where you (and up to three friends you’re comfortable getting weird with) relax in 1,000-liter oak hot tubs filled with beer ingredients while enjoying unlimited dark and light Krušovice beer. AND eating homemade beer bread. THEN resting on a bed of wheat straw next to a fireplace. This is the standard package but the only thing standard here is the fact that I’m getting drunk in a bathtub. I left out the parts where you laugh A LOT and some of you go home with bruises, but you can find all that in this post ⇣⇣⇣

Visiting the Prague beer spa was the highlight of our time in Prague and is my hands-down choice for best unique, one-of-a-kind experience you NEED to have in Prague!

ESSENTIAL INFO
Prague beer spa of choice: Pivní Lázně Spa Beerland 
Website: beerspa.com
Cost: There’s a range of packages depending on # of people / tubs. All price info can be found here.
Need to know: There’s a lot. Read my post on it!

Prague in 3 days: Best hotel (ever)

I’m not even kidding, Old Town Square Apartments in Prague is the best hotel I’ve stayed… anywhere. Your search ends here—don’t even bother looking anywhere else. I’m even adding a Booking.com search box so you can just go ahead and book and get on with the rest of your trip planning.

Booking.com


Now, I’m about to list a bunch of reasons why I believe Old Town Square Apartments is the best and why I think you should book them. But before you jump to any conclusions about this place (“Yeah right, bitch; I can’t afford that!”), I want you to keep in mind that this apartment was split between five people bringing the price to $30/night per person. What you’re about to see, I paid $30 USD a night for.

Why Old Town Square Apartments kicks so much ass and why you should stay here:

• These places are massive and brand spanking new.
• I can already tell you that you’re underestimating just how massive I’m talking here.
• Our apartment (there were five of us so we leveled-up) had 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a fully stocked kitchen, a living room area, an entryway, ALL HUGE.
• Our particular apartment could actually have slept 10, comfortably—like, way more comfortably than your own home.
• 20-foot ceilings throughout which was great because one of our friends is a giant
• Perfect location just a 5-minute walk from Old Town Square. We actually walked everywhere while exploring Prague in 3 days.
• This place was bigger and nicer than any place I’ve ever stayed… or lived. And all for $150 USD / night. That’s $15 per person if you bring nine of your friends.
• Great, friendly customer service and they even gave us a discount for whatever reason.
• There’s no better deal anywhere in Europe; there just can’t be.
• Here are some of my own pictures (that barely do it justice) but you can check out our exact apartment here: Masna 19
• Read more reviews on Tripadvisor | Book your room here!

ESSENTIAL INFO
Need to know: This is Czechia so chances are there’s porn on all the channels. You’ve been warned.

Prague in 3 days: Best bar

Ladies and gentlemen – we have a three-way tie! You get to take home three puppies!

There are a lot of great places to drink in Prague, but you probably figured that out from the first paragraph when I mentioned that beer here is cheaper than water. They have such a deeply entrenched beer culture in Prague that of course there’s going to be a plethora of creative ways to consume it. Problem is, you’ve only got three days and a 400-600ml bladder. (That’s actually way more than I thought a bladder could hold. That’s like, a bottle of wine and then some. I must have a freakishly tiny bladder. I’ll update you when I find out more.)

LOKÁL DLOUHÁÁÁ | I know, right? Like what does that even say? I have no idea, to tell you the truth; I just know how to get there. You’ll find Lokal bars and restaurants in a few different places around Prague (we had lunch at one under the foot of the Charles Bridge, troll style) but the Lokal on Dlouha Street was our favorite. I’ve never seen beer output like this in my life. Being that there wasn’t an empty seat in the (very big) place, the five of us stood at the bar. We watched the bartender filling and passing out mugs of beer faster than the taps could pour them. It was like, BAM here’s beer, BAM here’s a beer, BAM here’s a beer, BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!

The beer tanks are in the glass bar (check out their website for pictures), the walls are covered in a bunch of other stuff I can’t read, the employees are super friendly, and it’s right around the corner from your new fancy hotel.

THE PUB PRAHA 1 | The PUB Praha 1 is something you don’t see anywhere—a bar where the beer comes out of the tap on your table, poured by you. What are they—crazy!? In fact, you don’t actually need to interact with a PUB employee at all (unless you can’t figure out how to pour Czech beer because it actually takes true magical skill). Every PUB table has it’s very own tap and a touch screen where you can order food, pay your tab, and get whatever else you want that doesn’t start with a B- and end with a –EER.

But did the PUB stop at letting everyone pour their own beer from their own seats? Of course not. They brought an all-out, down and dirty brawl into the ring in the form of a projector screen. On the restaurant’s main screen you can see how much beer your table has consumed… ranked against all the other tables in the restaurant… ranked against all the other PUB locations around the city. And do you need to be #1? Oh hell yes YOU NEED TO BE #1. All was going well until a 12-dude bachelor party came in and I think it goes without saying our ranking took a bigger hit than a frat boy to a beer bong. Judges?

U FLEKU | When you read descriptions of U Fleku, you see phrases like “after the fall of the regime”, “Knight’s Hall”, and “pilgrimage site” because that’s how legit this place is. U Fleku has been around for over 500 years and is made up of eight drinking halls with seats for over 1,500 people whose names probably start with “Sir”. This place has “cozy medieval dungeon” written all over it and they serve just one beer that’s as black as the bottom of hobbit’s foot.

Sit in one of the million seats here and someone will bring you a beer within seconds. Get about halfway done and another is dropped off. A ways into that one and here comes another. “But I didn’t ask for…” Another. And another. Then a shot. That’s the way it works at U Fleku. The servers carry trays of beers around and drop one off wherever they see a glass that isn’t full. Someone else drops off shots of… something. Honey liqueur? Becherovka? Whosegonnacarrymehome-a?

ESSENTIAL INFO
Need to know: Only YOU can prevent the throat fire of a mystery shot.

Honorable mention: The rooftop bar at the Dancing House has great views of Prague and is an *interesting* space all around. 

Prague in 3 days: Best happy hour

When in Prague, you must drink Absinthe—the same way as when you’re in Amsterdam you must… ride a bicycle. Ya know, because those really good, full-strength bicycles are illegal here in the U.S. and many other places.

Drinking Absinthe at the Absintherie is a hilarious experience you must include in your 3-day Prague itinerary. The bartenders put on a presentation to end all presentations (so much fire) and they have HAPPY HOUR. Two hours of hallucination-induced giggle fests for the price of one! So which one should you try? Well, the menu looks like this, so your guess is as good as mine. All I know is thujone is the “good stuff” so get the one with the most in it. Actually, you should never take drinking advice from me. The staff is great at helping you choose an absinthe but not great at warning you of the dangers to your nose hairs.

ESSENTIAL INFO
Website: absintherie.cz
Need to know: They accept Bitcoins! That’s gotta matter to someone, right?

Prague in 3 days: Best morning walk

If you’re attempting to see the best of Prague in 3 days, your excursions are gonna need to pull double duty—something you’ve already accomplished by combining taking a bath and getting a buzz. Two birds, see? Now, it’s a given you’re going to visit Prague Castle, so why not do it prettier and more efficiently than everyone else?

Instead of cabbing it to Prague Castle’s main entrance to line up with the thousand other people who had that on their agenda for the day, why not take the scenic route? And by scenic I mean a back entrance without a single person near it. Is there anything more bewitching than seeing a line-free entrance into a city’s most popular attraction? The answer is yes, actually—and it’s the misty morning walk to get there.

Sure, Prague Castle’s main entrance has that big fancy gate, but the rear has some of the most beautiful views in the city, of the city. To get to the “back entrance” head to the Malostranská metro station. From there you’ll walk a block then ascend the Old Castle Stairway—121 steps dating back to the 17^th century, long before we trudged up staircases for pleasure. The Old Castle Stairway has been dubbed one of the most scenic and romantic routes in Prague and you’re going to need all that lovey-dovey sap to offset what you’ll see in the castle’s torture chambers. (The station and the entrance to the Old Castle Stairs is included in the map at the top.)

Once at the top, you’ll enter the castle through a small, singularly guarded entrance and be free to explore while everyone else in town waits and whines in the thick of a line. We went from the back entrance, through the complex, and straight into the ticket office at the front. Avoiding the masses via the most scenic route—double duty! Two puppies!

Prague in 3 days: Best nighttime hangout spot

Just as every morning should begin with something beautiful, so should every day end. In case you needed another reason to put a picture of Chris Hemsworth on your bedside table. But since you’re in Prague and you’ve left your framed fling behind, that means spending your evenings in Prague’s Old Town Square.

And just as Chris Hemsworth looks good in the sunlight and at dusk, so does Old Town Square. Prague’s Old Town Square has been around since the 12^th century so clearly ‘old’ is being nice. It’s a wide open centrally-located plaza perfect for meeting your friends and gorging on delicious street food. It’s bordered by monuments, a palace, the Old Town Hall, my favorite Prague feature—the Church of Our Lady Before Tyn, the Astronomical Clock is in there somewhere, and trdelník galore.